50 Things Bakura and Marik Shouldn't Do
by DeadMike's Guts
Summary: Things Bakura and Marik shouldn't do...but did anyway!


**This is what happens when you couple boredom with caffeinated drinks at 3.00am.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or any of the mentioned songs, they are the property of Kazuki Takahashi, Stephen Lynch, Sir Mixalot and ABBA respectively.**

* * *

50 Things Bakura and Marik Shouldn't Have Done 

But Did Anyway 

**1. **Play with matches.  
**Marik**_: stop your whining, they're only eyebrows they'll grow back……eventually._

**2. **Fill the Pharaohs' toilet with crickets.

**3. **Feed Yuugi a jumbo box of Pixie sticks.  
**Marik**: 0.0  
**Bakura**: _Look at him go!_

**4. **Steal the front wheel off Honda's motorcycle.

**5. **Steal Anzu's Wonder-bras.  
**Bakura**: _Hey Pharaoh, I was right! _

**6. **Hide in a tree and throw dog biscuits at Jounouchi.

**7. **Fill Kaiba's briefcase with the empty boxes so when he opens it they fall out and Jou blames him.

**8.** Release dozens of leeches into the local swimming pool.  
**Marik**: _I didn't know the chlorine would kill them! T-T_

**9.**Give Rishid the nickname "Baldy-locks and the three hairs".

**10.**Put Anzu's stolen Wonder-bras in Malik's closet.

**11.**Play "Baby got back" every time Ishizu walks into the room.

**12. **Tell Miho that Ryou is gay and watch her cry.

**13.**Tell Honda that Miho is gay and watch him cry.

**14. **Tell Yami that Yuugi is straight.

**15. **Ask Sugoroku when he's planning to die then sing the "Grandfather" song.

**16. **Kidnap Shizuka's cat and leave a recording of them singing "Kill a Kitten".

**17. **Disguise themselves as Ryou and Malik and offer to baby-sit Mokuba then sing him "Lullaby" at bedtime.  
**Mokuba**: _Seto, what's a 10-dollar whore?  
_**Kaiba**: _…….._

**18. **Put a wasp nest in the Pharaoh's toilet.  
**Yami**: _SON OF A BITCH!!!!! _

**19.** Set loose the stolen (and by now evil and crazy) cat on a petting zoo.  
**Marik**: _0.0  
_**Bakura**: _Holy Ra! That poor duck never saw it coming.  
_**Marik**: _Rest in peaces, Derik the duck._

**20.**Replace Jou's Girl's Gone Wild DVDs with Disney movies.

**21.**Laugh hysterically when Ryou asks why he keeps getting hit on by guys.  
**Bakura**: _Hey, that would have happened even without us. _

**22. **Sell naked pictures of Otogi to the fan girls.  
**Otogi**: _How did you even_ _get these!?_

**23. **Feed Yuugi more Pixie sticks and set him loose in the museum- _this will annoy Yami and Ishizu (and Rishid and Malik since Ishizu will complain to them). _

**24. **Seduce the science teacher in order to get the keys and sneak into the chemistry lab at lunchtime.  
**Bakura: **_Way to take one for the team!  
_**Marik: **_….I don't think I'll ever feel clean again… _

**25.** Offer the Pharaoh a questionable drink.  
**Yami**: _Why is it glowing?  
_**Marik**: _No reasons just shut up and drink it! _

**26.** Create a bomb out of a digital clock, a toaster and bleach.  
**Bakura**: _Mc Guyver's got nuthin' on me._

**27. **Steal an endangered animal from Domino Zoo.

**28. **Leave said endangered species in the bathroom and forgets about it.  
**Ryou**: _Holy Crap! Bakura, why is there a snow leopard in the bathtub!?  
__**Bakura**__: Because it wouldn't fit in the toilet! _

**29.**Run away when Ryou starts yelling.

**30. **Shout _"Run kids he's coming" _when Pegasus walks down the street.

**31. **Start a nudist colony in the living room.

**32. **Throw Anzu's plushie collection at her while yelling _"fly my pretties, fly!"_

**33. **Teach Mokuba how to swear in Ancient Egyptian.

**34. **Microwave spiders in an attempt to make them radioactive.  
**Bakura**: _See, I told you it wouldn't work.  
_**Marik**: _T-T _

**35.**Use the Shadows to trip Anzu when she's playing DDR in a skirt.  
**Marik**: _But we only stole her bras, why isn't she wearing any panties!?  
_**Yami**_**: covers Yuugi's eyes.  
**_**Bakura**: _…….and just like that I'm gay._

**36. **Threaten to force-feed Mai something Marik cooked unless she loans them her car.

**37.** Tell Mai _"they still look pretty good for an old chick".  
_**Marik: **_What? They do! You can't even tell they're fakes._

**38. **Proclaim very loudly in a crowded public area that _"Ryou is their pretty princess but Malik is the queen!"_

**39. **Refer to Yami as "the 3000 year old virgin."

**40. **Kidnap Kaiba, tie him to a chair and make him watch hours and hours of the Teletubies.  
**Bakura: **_Alright, I admit this is evil, even for us._

**41. **Dye Rishid's pony-tail pink.  
**Rishid**: _How did they do that!?  
_**Ishizu**: _I think it looks good on you.  
_**Rishid**: _-.-;_

**42.**Change Kaiba's ring tone to "Dancing Queen" By ABBA then call him while he's in a meeting.

**43. **Mind-control Rebecca into telling Yuugi she saw Yami and Seto doing X-rated things on his bed.

**44. **Attempt to train an army of raccoons to do their bidding.  
**Bakura**: _Ok, so now we have a roomful of vermin. Now what?  
_**Marik**: _Don't they carry rabies?  
_**Bakura: **_0.0  
_**Marik: **_0.0 I have an idea! Hey Pharoh, get in here!_

**_45_. **Bribe a group of cute little kids to sing "Ugly Baby" in front of Domino Hospital's maternity ward.  
**Marik**: _Ok kids, let's go.  
_**Kids**: _Yeah!  
_**Bakura**: _Keep an eye out for Pegasus!_

**46. **Explain in great explicit detail where babies come from to Shizuka and Mokuba.  
**Shizuka&Mokuba**: 0.0

**47. **Steal the frogs from the schools biology lab, release them in the cafeteria and scream _"It's the 10 plagues of Egypt!"_

**48. **Put chilli powder in Yami's leather pants.  
**Bakura**: _Know what the best part is?  
_**Marik**: _What?  
_**Bakura**: _He doesn't wear underwear when he puts them on.  
_**Marik**: _HAHAHA- wait how do __you__ know that!? _

**49. **Yell that the trees in the park are mocking them then buy a chainsaw.

**50. **Make a FaceBook account for Derik the dead duck.  
**Yami**: _Aibou a duck keeps poking me on the computer!  
_**Yuugi**:_………Yami have __you__ been eating the Pixie sticks?_

_

* * *

_

**Hopefully you got a laugh or two from this.**

**Read and Review.**


End file.
